An alternate set of lyrics for "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.
Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable, Bette Davis, Betty Grable
Gracie Allen, Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio
Buster Keaton, Burl Ives, Bert Parks, Vincent Price
Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz
Nat King Cole, Yul Brynner, Chuck Connors, Lana Turner
Ian Fleming, Henry Corden, Jean Vander Pyl
Eisenhower, FDR,  Oppenheimer, Groucho Marx
Peter Sellers, Peter Gzowski, Peter Jennings goodbye

We didn't start the pyre
Cigarettes are burning; now the world's been learning:
We didn't start the pyre
Corporations light it but they tried to hide it

Errol Flynn, Ernie Kovacs, Eric Carr, Eddie Kendricks
Eddie Rabbit, Edward Murrow, Ed Sullivan
Rod Serling, Rowland Evans, R.J. Reynolds, Rory Calhoun
Roger Miller, Roger Maris, George Harrison
Robert Shaw, Robert Mitchum, Robert Palmer, Richard Burton
Richard Boone, Dashiell Hammett, Walt Disney, Dean Martin
Dick Powell, Dick York, Dick Haymes, Don Knotts
David Janssen, David Hodo, David Millar, Redd Foxx

We didn't start the pyre
Guys in suits ignite it; now they've been indicted
We didn't start the pyre
Let's speed their demising with a big uprising

Audrey Meadows, Agnes Moorehead, Colleen Dewhurst, Susan Hayward
Linda Darnell, Anne Ramsey, Lee Remick, Gene Tierney
Nancy Walker, Nancy Gore, Barb Tarbox, Mary Wells
Princess Margaret, Dana Reeve, Patrick Bouvier Kennedy
Chet Huntley, Forrest Tucker, Tyrone Power, Victor Crawford
Kiel Martin, Harry Nilsson, Bill Tuttle, Carl Wilson
Andy Kaufman, Alan Landers, Mark Twain, Michael Landon
Lon Chaney, Louis Armstrong, Larry Linville, Leonard Bernstein

We didn't start the pyre
Now we're agonizing watching loved ones dying
We didn't start the pyre
While the doctors chide it, make the courts decide it

William Buckley, Tex Williams, William Talman, Warren Zevon
Warren Harding, Wayne McLaren, Morton Downey Jr.
Walter Matthau, Mo Howard, Curly Howard, Shemp Howard
Scott Fitzgerald, Spencer Tracy, Sammy Davis Jr.
Sigmund Freud, Sarah Vaughan, Steve McQueen, Spike Jones
John Wayne blown away, what else do I have to say?

We didn't start the pyre
Health care underwrites it; now let's dynamite it
We didn't start the pyre
Don't be pacifiers for the crucifiers

Gary Cooper, Glenn Hughes, Graham Chapman, Jack Soo
George C. Scott, George Knudson, George Peppard, Julie London
Jean-Paul Sartre, Jimmy Dorsey, Joan Woodbury, Gypsy Rose Lee
Jesse Owens, Jim Boyd, James Franciscus, James Brown
John Huston, John Candy, John Thaw, John Gotti
John Testrake, Lyndon Johnson, Johnny Paycheck, Johnny Carson
Jack Wild, Jim Varney, Wolfman Jack, Jack Benny
Jackie Gleason, Jacquie O., I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the pyre
Lists are growing dire; now I'm getting tired
We didn't start the pyre
'til tobacco's gone will it still burn on
and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and

We didn't start the pyre
It's been piling higher making bucks for liars
We didn't start the pyre
If we stand united, we can quickly fight it
We didn't start the pyre
Big Tobacco's trying to escape by bribing
We didn't start the pyre
Though they're great deniers, it's time they're retired
We didn't start the pyre
We can turn the tide on all their homicides
We didn't start the pyre
There's no justifying of their terrorizing
We didn't start the pyre. . .